My Somedays Have Arrived…

My somedays have arrived.

I didn’t expect them to hit so hard.

But it feels like they are this year. And my somedays have arrived. Maybe yours have too.

It seems like just yesterday I walked into Kindergarten with Jake. He starts high school tomorrow. And y’all. I am almost beside myself. I cried tonight on the way home from Wal Mart after getting school supplies with my oldest kiddo…the list is so different…no crayons…no markers…And the time has gone by so fast.

People told me…mostly older moms…you’ll miss these days when they’re gone. And I wanted to give them the middle finger while I waded through three kids in diapers…sippy cups…sleepless nights…naptime that felt like some sort of twisted game of how-crazy-can-we-make-mom-before-she-cries…pull ups that cost an arm and a leg…swim diapers that cost even more…formula…flash cards…learning how to read…and don’t even talk to me about potty training…I’d rather kill myself twice than ever do any of that again…

But come on y’all. I’d take one more day of super hero pajamas. One more night of making up stories and Uno and Go Fish and watching Veggie Tales (damn you Veggie Tales). I’d gladly take back a moment of patting my little girl’s bottom till she fell asleep…or rubbing Jude’s back…or playing with Jake’s ears…because I knew all the secrets to getting my babies back to bed. I would sell my soul to the devil himself just to have an hour of my favorite playgroup. The days when a picnic was paradise and a playdate was the answer to every prayer. I would carry those babies in that stupid baby bjorn for all it is worth…Y’all. My somedays arrived. And I am a mess.

Tomorrow my youngest goes to Kindergarten. My daughter goes to Middle School. My middle boy  is an 8th grader. And my oldest kid is in High School. And the mixture of pride and pain I feel at every turn is more than I can put into words. Because there are no words to describe what it feels like to watch your little people become people …part of all the world not just your world…and do it way better than you ever hoped or imagined…

Dammit older moms.

I remember so many moments like they were yesterday. I remember first pigtails. First words. First steps. First time I cleaned out a carseat covered in diarrhea. First time I screamed at my husband for sleeping through a crying baby. First choir concerts. First soccer games. First time they wanted to marry someone other than me. First recitals. First bike rides. First days of school. First time reading to a class of little people where my baby was so dang proud I was there…

Y’all. And the lasts. They were gone in the blink of an eye. The last time they held my hand on a field trip. The last time my words were all they needed. The last time a kiss could heal all the hurts in the world, or a hug could ease all the pain. The last time sleeping in my bed was the best thing ever. The last time I buckled them into their seat…The last time I tied their shoes…held a Kleenex to their nose…brushed their hair…rebrushed their teeth…put cough syrup in a spoon and prayed it into their mouths…The lasts came and went without a single celebration or salutation…Until days like today when you catch your breath because you realize those moments have gone…

So, tonight let me encourage you, moms and dads and grandparents and caregivers who are in the weeds with little ones. We see you, us older moms, and we smile from ear to ear. We are cheering you on from the check out lanes of Target as you work your ass off to simply get a few items on a conveyor belt…We see you, us older moms, and we are standing with you as you force a stiffened toddler with all that is in you into their god forsaken carseat. We see you, and our hands are over our hearts in an instant when little voices sing little songs for the millionth time…we know you hate that damn song…but man, we would kill to hear it sung just one more time. Oh y’all. I miss baby feet and baby toes and baby fingers holding mine. You will too. No, not today. But when that little person becomes a young man or woman before your very eyes…I promise you…these crazy horrible days of too many babies will become memories way too fast.

And for all us older moms who are breaking down every morning with Facebook Timehop and pictures of little faces with barely any teeth…you will see me puffy eyed tomorrow. Maybe all week. Maybe all year. Crying at it all. I can’t get over how much I love these people. I don’t know how I lucked out to get this wonderful group of ordinary assholes to call me mom…

For all of us facing our somedays…someday they will go to kindergarten…someday they will go to middle school…someday they will go to high school…someday…

I am toasting us all tonight as I scroll through a million memories.

These are the good old days.

3 replies
  1. Tana Kramer
    Tana Kramer says:

    Such a great vision into your families’ past and so many more memories still to be made as your navigate this next season! Your going to be great and so are they!


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